Can we PLEASE stop talking about leagues

by On Becoming Anna

They’re stupid, offensive, and they literally make no sense.

I don’t think I am being too presumptuous in saying that everyone in their lives has been told that the person they fancy is out of their league. If you have never experienced this, then obviously you are way too good looking and I don’t think it would be very good for my ego or mental state if we stood close or spoke to each other ever again. But those of you who do know what I’m talking about, holla at me sisters and let’s all agree. It is ridiculous.

There have been plenty of times in my life where I have lusted over boys, be that at school, at uni, people that I stalk on instagram, or Channing Tatum, only to be told that they are waaayyy out of my league, because they are a 15, and I am only a 7 on a good day.

This works the other way too – I have, on countless occasions, been around my male friends stalking each other’s girlfriends and exclaiming that they are ‘punching above their weight’, or ‘doing well for a four’, as if the only thing that matters is their physical appearance, and how high you would mark them out of ten.

Well, I’ve had enough. I. Have. Had. It.

For all you know, this group of supposed 10’s could have the personality of an absolute spoon, or your mate that you think is only a 5 could actually be the sweetest, most caring, funny person on the entire planet, and also own 19 dogs (automatic 10 out of 10 from me). What one person considers attractive is not what everyone else does. In fact, we’d be in a heap load of trouble if everyone found exactly the same type of person attractive, because then everyone would just be in a massive race for the same four good-looking people and everyone else would be left alone, crying and eating soy yogurts on a Friday night.

I actually find it quite offensive when someone tells me that me or my boyfriend are ‘punching above our weights’. Our relationship (thank God), is based on more than what we look like, and more on the support we can offer each other. Whilst sexual attraction is important, you need to make sure you still want to be around them when they’ve eaten a really spicy curry and disable the toilet, or have outrageous sunburn. You’re together to improve each other’s lives, not be a hot piece of arm-candy at the work parties.

In our Tinder obsessed world, it is really easy and almost encouraged, to judge people initially on their appearance. It becomes difficult to stop thinking that people are judging you solely on yours, and this leads to a lot of insecurities. Yeah, if you have a Tinder bio. then there might be specific things that get you matches, like a six pack, big boobs or a really cool hat, but attraction goes much further than that, and constantly reminding people that everyone is judging them on their appearance is harmful, and not cool or hip or trendy.

You can be pleased for your friends that they have a hot new piece of ass, and you can tell them that, but you should be wary not to tell them that they are undeserving of that relationship, simply because they are not what you consider as ‘good looking’ enough. You might only be joking, but what you are really perpetuating is the idea that conventional good looks get you a partner, and if you differ from this in any way, you are less deserving. Maybe you should rate people out of ten for the things that really matter, like what their favourite animal is, whether or not they like crème brûlée, if they can juggle, or if they are Channing Tatum.

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